"I got a girlfriend"

Another damn blog about Demetrius. I'm so tired of writting about him, but it's like he's the only interesting thing that's happening. I do admitt, I'm a little to young to be dealing with this boy mess. But time is diffrent now, it's on everybodies mind. Especially deeper things you do in relationships. like FUCKING. it runs through little boys minds these days non-stop. How I know? Take demetrius as an example. He almost flunked cause he couldn't stay focused, all he wanted was SEX. and the boy is 13 ! Whenever me and him are alone, he'd hug me, and junk, and he'd like, squeeze me and be like "Oh yeah baby, SZZT AHH" and shit, I'm like "DUDE!" I'd push him off or somthing. He tries to kiss me and stuff, I push his head back, one time I was sitting down and he put his hands were hands shouldnt go at the age of 12. I smacked his dumb ass. but I like him you see..I may not like the attention, but I like him. && On sunday after all he's done. On friday he even though I went with him. I said How I felt. and you know what he said? "I got a girlfriend"

He Loves me, He loves me not.

I want to get rid of Demetrius all together, he's a flirt, nothing but a flirt, but so is hirackleo. Ugh, I like them so much, but I know I'm just 12, and I shouldn't be worrying about males, but in this day of age, ..I feel as if I should. I'm in sixth grade, everybody has a boyfriend but me, I don't want to go all crazy for him, like, wear my clothes all skankish. I Know now that Hirackleo likes me, for one thing. MY BUTT. Ain't my fault I don't have the cutest face, but a nice bod yo =/. Sides`. Ion think that's even that good. Demetrius likes both with his manished ass..
neither is good enough.
Hirackleo could get any girl in the 7th grade.
I can barley get a sixth grader.
I won't get neither.

Going crazy .

The last couple of days of school, I've began to like my crush more and more, and more. More then I like Demetrius. I really don't know what to do, because acctually, Hirackleo is so much cuter, and he has a mustache, and he's like really cute. Only one grade higher then me . So is demetrius though, but we all see what he looks like, little black boy, who gropes the shit out of me. but harckleo is a mexican boy, with manners ya'know. He's like a bad boy, and Demetrius can't even top that.
I'm so fucking confused man.
Atleast Demetrius likes me back.
Harckleo wouldn't.
These will be my first boyfriends.
They both dont go tot he same school.
I see one three times a week.[demetrius]
and I see the other like 5 days a week.
That's because Demetrius goes to my church.
My head hurts from all this thinking .
good night.

My age.

I should say I'm like 14 for now on, because it's like once people know how old I am, they act as if I'm a little girl, I am not a little girl, when people are like "I was playing with barbies then" No you wasen't you was 12 years old,You was probally learning about sex,drugs, gangs, and being addicted to the oppsite sex =/. I was playing with barbies when I was 6. I'm 12, theres alot of stuff not to do around here, but read. so yeah I'm on the computer, and I like being on it =/. Theres a bunch of kids my age, and the people who don't care how old I am, treat me no diffrent from there real friends -.- Just cause I'm 12, dosen't mean I'm clueless, kids in my generation know alot more then they should know. So go kill yourself if you don't like minors, because you were one. So you have some damn nerve treating me diffrent. and I mean, I do like it when people call me a 'Younging" cause I'm not going to even front, I am one, but me and my friend diggie sit and talk about adult shit. So before you want to call me a child, think about it, when you say shit like "I didn't even know what a computer was when I was that age" Don't lie your ass did, there in schools now.
Don't treat me no diffrent.
Just because I'm 12.
Because I'm not diffrent.
You don't know anything about me.

Dear Journal *

Once again an old Journal.

Every light skinded girl gets royal treatment. Like they are the preetiest things on earth. But us dark skinded girls need respect to. Us thick medium skinded girls have the same rights light skinded girls do. Light skinded girls are always some snobs, but somtimes some of them have good sides, but the ones I know are snobs. They got every bout they want. I may be a little ugly but I'm just as cute as any girl in that peace.But yeah , Mariah = Ligth Skinded girl, she's rich, and she got Jaylen crushing on her. Sierra Eliss, light skided, got a boy named mark that I liked! See Boys + Girls love light skinded heffas. But it's whatever, I guess i`m a dime.

Dear Journal*

This isn't new, this blog is old, I`m just putting ish from
my Journal up.

Today I feel like an idiot, my friend Ashley and I both like this boy named Jaylen. He's so cool!He looks like bryan from b5 sorta. And I don't know I ain't ashamed of it but I have to deal with the fact I like sombody, and they will never like me back. Nobody likes me back. That so like rare if sombody did. Boys don't phase me, they ain't important, they suck. I am not a big boy fan,But it's whatever now, He's mariah one of the light skinded ones now..

Pretty.

Why can't I be pretty? I`m surrounded by pretty.All I hear is my family calling me pretty, but why don't I belive it? I think I'm ugly why do I have to think I'm ugly? I got pretty moments somtimes.I`m self councious.Always thinking about how I look.Wondering if I'm too fat.I love me, I love everything about me, my features, but theres times when I say. "Why am I so ugly?" I always get that way when I`m around these light skinded girls at church . They make me feel ugly. When they get everything they want. I feel ugly. When pretty girls get the boys i sorta like. It makes me feel ugly. But Everyday, I look in the mirror, I see smarts,personality, and everything sombody cool would like to hang with. So, so what if they think I'm ugly, think I'm fat, think I'm strange. I will always be unique.
I am no longer self councious.
I've realized I`m just me.